The key here is BALANCE. Learn to balance attention and affection between hubby and the kids so that one does not overthrow the other.
As a wife, it takes great wisdom to keep your marriage during the childbearing stage of life. The demand for motherhood is really high in the childbearing stage.
This is personal story and tips she applied to keep her marriage during childbearing.
I have this deep connection with my second son and love to cuddle my baby all the time. He sleeps very near to me while I sleep next to husband. It wasn’t funny when my one-year-old son (at that time) suddenly woke up one early morning and commanded his dad (in his 1year old language) to take his hand off his mummy’s arm.
My husband burst into laughter at the unexpected outburst and kept his hand on my arm. The baby kept whining and complaining, angrily woke me up (he thought I was sleeping) and reported his dad. I laughed and explained the best way I could that mummy is daddy’s property and first love and can show affection to her freely. All explanation fell on deaf ears! Realizing dad and mum are not going to budge, he changed position and sandwiched himself between my husband and I and kept mute!
Smiles…he is more mature now, more independent and does not throw such tantrums anymore.
Though children are cute and so adorable, they can kill romance and passionate sex in marriage is allowed. The childbearing stage in marriage is a challenging one that requires wisdom to manage.
My first son likes to talk to his dad at the same time he is talking to me. We have to train him to allow adults to finish speaking before talking.
When the children have not arrived, it is only you and your spouse. You have all the time in the world to date, have sex, get passionate, be romantic and look into each other’s eyeballs for as long as you want with zero distraction, but now that the babies have arrived, the attention is divided and you are so confused about who to give most of your time. You sometimes feel guilty for giving your husband more attention than the kids and vice versa.
* Whenever your husband is not around, spend time with your children, give them all the attention, love and affection they need, when your husband is around, switch. You will still give them attention but let them know daddy is the king of the house and must be attended to right now.
* Train your children not to interrupt when you and your husband are talking, it is disrespectful and can water down the important discussion.
* Train your children to sleep early so you can have time with your husband before you both go to bed.
* Don’t spend all your energy in the kitchen and taking care of your children. Reserve some for lovemaking.
* As a rule, do not romance or have sex with your husband in the presence of your children, no matter how small you think they are.
* Cooking, house chores, cleaning up the kids and sweating all day can create body odour. Always bath before going to bed and invest in good perfume.
* Take care of your spiritual health, pray, read your Bible and commune with the Lord daily.
* Learn to pamper yourself and take time to rest when you need it.
* Eat healthy food with adequate fruits. Avoid junks and sweetened drinks.
* Love yourself then you will have much love to give to the rest of the family members.
May the Lord grant you the wisdom to be a wonderful wife to your husband and a great mum to your kids. I love you so much.
Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!
© Seun Oladele, 2018.