In celebrating motherhood, we are excited to have a great mother, parenting coach and educationist Olabisi Ibitato on board as she shares her thoughts about positive parenting.
Please read from her below:
Parenting should not be a one-style-fits-all. Parenting will be exasperating for the child and the parents if we do not bear in mind that each child is peculiar..wired differently for a specific purpose. We must, therefore, deal with our children with that knowledge guiding us. The style of discipline that will be effective for child A might not have the desired effect on child B. The fact that Child C is independent enough to leave home to study abroad does not mean Child D is emotionally able to do the same. Also, the intellectual ability of each child differs, we must be sensitive to study our children. As Parents, we must ask the Holy Spirit to guide us on how to go.
• Parenting is not a competition with anyone, you
must, therefore, count costs before you take
decisions..don’t live to impress anyone.
A considerable number of parents put themselves under undue pressure by competing with their friends
and family when raising their children You don’t need to be like the Joneses in your choice of School. You’ll only end up an embarrassment to your child as school authority pursues you to pay fees. Couples should not live above their means, do not Couples should not live above their means, do not embark on projects that will drain you.
Don’t be ashamed to readjust if there is a need for it…you are not exercising faith by living above your
means- it will only lead you into a messy situation.
Mothers, do not compromise on values. Yes, your
children to perceive you as mean, but please keep
Most of us also saw our mothers as meanwhile growing up. But eh, here we are thanking God for the way we were brought up..(I hope)My daughter saw me as a mean woman who just didn’t know how to be a 21st Century Mom.
But, I kept at it, instilling values that other mothers threw to the winds. Oh, did my daughter misunderstand me!!!
Oh, were there days of, “I wish she weren’t my mom” But years down the line, this ‘same daughter’ who had
always seen me as stern, asked me to counsel her friend’s mother on how to handle a particular issue.
Saying I was dumbstruck is an understatement. I was like me??? I was elated that my daughter now saw me as a wise
woman over the wicked woman perception. So, mothers keep training your children in the way to Go… one day they will thank you for it.
• For effective parenting, there must be a cordial
collaboration between all stakeholders involved in
the lives of our children.
Mothers, there is a side of your child that the teachers in school know. The teacher will help more if you don’t act like ‘I pay your salary’ There is the part of your child that the handlers at home ‘see’ . Drivers hear their conversation with friends as they drive them around The gateman notices the guy hanging around your gate waiting for your daughter
Stop acting like you don’t need help from others. Stop treating other stakeholders in your child’s life like
they aren’t important. Ask questions…
Do not act haughty..be approachable