Adanne was a young beautiful woman in her late thirties. Her glowing dark skin, 5ft11 inch height and the dark thick curls on her natural hair always gave her away, each time she walked into a room.
Her luxurious life was a thing of envy to most of her mates, many of whom wished to be like her and have the things she had. She had a beautiful home, choice cars and had been to several countries around the world.
She had risen in her career and had scaled through several oppositions to become one of the most sought after engineers in her industry. She worked hard to seal her place as ‘a woman to watch’ in a male-dominated industry.
Adanne had several degrees to her belt, was well-travelled and had received many accolades in the course of her career. She had written goals and smashed them severally. There was no doubt she was living the life she had always dreamed of as a young girl.
Adanne was married to her sweetheart. They met in the University and sealed their union some months after their National Youth Service.
They had planned to start a family immediately after their wedding and even agreed to have three children, a daughter and two sons. But 10 years have passed since they said ‘I do’ at the altar and they were still two in the family.
Adanne had been to the best hospitals within and outside the country. She and her husband had gone through several rounds of treatments including a failed IVF.
Adanne was exhausted from trying. She had gotten to her limits. It was difficult watching her mates flaunt images of their kid’s graduation from primary school on social media.
She was also tired of the questions from family members asking after her kids. Some looked at her boldly in the face at times and said, ‘Haba Adanne, so you never still born since all these years. ‘
Adanne said to her friend once, ‘Look at my home. I have all of these beautiful furniture, lovely ambience and every good and convenient thing I need, but I will give anything just to have children running and playing around at home.’
Someone once said, ‘You do not want to know what women who are trying to conceive go through.’ Some get so desperate and even begin to tread dangerous paths. While some others choose to wait and walk through the storm.
But how can you as a young woman find joy and peace in this waiting period in your life? What can you do while you are trying and waiting to conceive your child? What coping mechanisms can you imbibe to help you through the wait? How can you remain joyful even if you never get to conceive and carry a baby?
Find below three ways that you can find joy and peace while waiting.
- SHOW GRATITUDE
It can be hard showing gratitude especially in a time when God seems so far away. But the good news is that you can.
I once listened to Oprah Winfrey talk about keeping a gratitude journal. In her journal, she always wrote 5 things she was grateful for every single day for. I was inspired.
There was a cluster of months in my life that I did exactly the same thing. I wrote those things I was grateful for each day. I still have that little book today and whenever I get to read through, I am amazed at God’s goodness.
So get busy, start writing out those things you are grateful for. It may be as simple as your husband’s loving smile or the sofa that gives you comfort in your home, the fact that you see your periods regularly and an income and job/business that meets your needs. Whatever it is, write them down and you will be amazed at how those little things can start to mean a lot.
So while you wait, use this moment to acknowledge he who holds the universe in his hands and he who will always stand by you until the end of time.
“You radiate and generate more goodness for yourself when you’re aware of all you have and not focusing on your have-nots.” Oprah Winfrey
- CELEBRATE, INSPIRE AND SUPPORT THE CHILDREN IN YOUR LIFE.
What do you see when you sit and watch your children play? What do you hear when they sit by your side to tell you stories about their day?
What comes to your heart when you experience their well of knowledge and see how much they can become and achieve?
It is true that you are yet to conceive and hold a baby in your arms, but you can use this moment to be a blessing to the children in your life.
Why not step in and be a blessing to your sibling’s son and daughter. Why not step in and teach those children around you – your neighbourhood, church and school about God and also empower them with some basic life skills. Why not step in and mentor those teens as they make that transition from high school to the University.
Children are God’s gift to the world. They are the masterpieces and influencers that will shape the world tomorrow and you can become a part of the process. Their words and voices can become your daily reminder of that which truly matters in life.
So while you wait, use this moment and time to plant seeds of hope and greatness in the lives of the children God put around you.
- STAY HOPEFUL IN THE MIDST OF THE STORM
The journey to conceiving and holding a baby in your arms can be a very tedious and overwhelming journey for some women. And the truth is that you will never really understand the pain such a woman endures in her journey to becoming a mother. Some of us had it easy conceiving our kids. I only had a feel of what waiting looked like while trying to conceive for my second child. I eventually carried my second child in my arms after 5-years of waiting.
But some mothers have been in the waiting room for 10 years or more now. Some of them have even lost hope, while some are holding on tenaciously to their faith in God.
If you are that mother who has been in that waiting room for years. I encourage you to keep trusting God with your life and for your miracle.
My father-in-law recently shared with me about his former pastor, whose wife conceived after 16 years of waiting. A friend also recently shared an image of her baby born after 9-years of waiting.
But I also recall the story of Ibidun Ighodalo and her journey to motherhood. And how after years of trying, she embraced adoption and today celebrates the son and daughter God brought into her life.
So while you wait, always seek to find out what God’s perfect will is for your life and learn to trust that God always has your best interest at heart. And as you stand in that waiting room, choose to stay hopeful and keep drinking from God’s fountain of living water and let God’s peace fill your heart always.
So back to the story of Adanne.
Adanne has still not conceived but she finds joy serving in the children’s department of her church. And alongside her husband funds the education of several less privileged children in her village, two of which are currently studying in the University. Adanne found joy and peace while giving and serving in her waiting season. Will you choose to have joy and peace in your waiting room today?
© 2019, Fijabi Ufuoma