Here is the list of 14 things wives should stop doing with their husband to have peaceful and successful marriage. What do your words and actions say to your husband about your love for him?
Even if you have been married for decades now, it’s still important for to consider your husband’s needs. Think about the possible effects of your careless words, attitudes, and actions before you break his heart. Can you identify?
1. Stop thinking that your way is the “right” way. If he does something differently, it does not mean that it’s wrong. When a wife insists on having her own way, she is in essence saying, “I have to be in control.”
2. Don’t put others before your husband. God designed companionship in marriage so that a husband and wife can meet one another’s need for a close, intimate, human relationship. So what happens when you put your mother, a friend, or even a child before your spouse? Actually, you take a step (often unintentional) toward isolation in your marriage. If you choose, for example, to spend an afternoon shopping with your mom when your husband asked you to watch a football game with him, you may leave hubby feeling that he has second place in your heart.
3. Don’t expect your husband to be your girlfriend. Most men and women not only look different physically, but also have unique ways of processing life. One example of this is the need for conversation. Some detailed gist that will matter to your girl friend will not really go well with your husband therefore keep it simple!
4. Don’t dishonor your husband. Suggestions included: Stop all nagging and don’t correct hubby in front of others. If you finish your husband’s sentences, you may be unintentionally communicating, “I don’t really care about what you have to say.”
5. Stop expecting your husband to fail you as your dad failed your mom. If your dad had failed to be a good husband or father that does not mean your husband will! Many wives allow their mom failed marriages to rob them of much joy they should enjoy with their husband. Don’t not allow your mum’s past to affect your present. You are different!
6. Don’t put your husband on the defensive. For example, if you are driving around a section of town looking for a restaurant and he’s obviously lost, does it really help for you to tell him that he’s been going around the same block for the fifth time? One wise wife said that she’s learned to be quiet in situations like this. Now, before she makes a comment, she weighs her words—asking herself: “Are my words needed? Would they be encouraging?” Proverbs 10:19 says, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”
7. Never use sex to bargain with your husband. Some women intentionally or unintentionally say to their husbands, “When I get what I want, you get sex.” However, 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 reminds husbands and wives that their bodies are not their own. “Do not deprive one another …”
8. Stop reminding your husband about things over and over. Don’t make him feel guilty or nitpick him about small stuff. One friend said that when we constantly remind our husbands about diet, weight, medication, picking up the dry cleaning, etc., we are actually acting more like his mother than his wife. It makes them ask us a question we do not like to hear ‘am I a baby? Am also guilty it of it but am sure better approach or presentation will not misinterpret our good intention as wives.
9. Don’t make your husband earn your respect. Many women think, I’ll respect him when he earns it. But there’s a reason that Ephesians 5:33 says, “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.” As one friend said: “If women could learn to understand that respect is a man’s native tongue, that it absolutely heals his heart and ministers to him like nothing else, it would make the biggest difference in the world.” Money, position or title should not determine your husband’s respect.
10. Don’t act like your spouse is a mind reader. The best is to be specific about your requests. Don’t wish or think your husband would know your need if you don’t ask, wishing your spouse would help you with the household chores to reduce stress is not right but know that the only way he will know your needs is when you tell him. You will discover that a few words are all it takes “to change a resentment-filled, stressed-out night into a team-effort bonding time.”
11. Stop putting housework ahead of hubby. Even though I can understand how the housework can be enormous to drain energy and take ones attention however it is important that wife plan ahead to place priority right.
12. Don’t take the lead. Many wives take the lead because they feel their husbands will not or delay to take the lead,” one wife said, “I would see what needed to be done and get frustrated that my husband would not take charge and get it done.” She went on to say that she’s changed by learning to wait on her husband’s leadership. “I really believe,” she says, “that our men don’t lead because we women are too quick to jump in and take care of it all.”
13. Do not expect your husband to be Prince Charming. After all, the perfect husband only exists in fairy tales and your marriage exists in real life. One young wife said that instead of focusing on her husband’s shortcomings, she’s learned to recognize the wonderful things about him. What’s been the result? He’s been encouraged to do even more to be the man of her dreams.
14. Never look first to a book, a plan, or a person to fix a problem in your marriage. Instead go to God’s Word and believe and act on the things that He says. “He will lead me to any resources I need,” one woman said. “God has already given us everything we need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3) but we have to live according to the promises and expect Him to show up for us.”